Despite a common belief, there’s actually a large number of followers for our religion. A religion that I assure you is not a joke. (You don’t have to believe this, even if you are one of us, we all have our different worship and belief systems.) We believe that the FSM was around at the very beginning of the universe to use His Noodly Appendage to create said universe. Why else would it look so much like pasta? He also made the universe look quite old, but for why, only His Noodliness knows. We believe that when there are new scientific theories about how the universe or how earth came to support life, the FSM is carefully modifying the data with his Noodly Appendage. You may think that is crazy, but I could also make claims about other mainstream religions-I could mock you. But I respect other’s right to worship what they like. We also believe that the FSM originally had Ten Commandments, like Christianity and others. He wrote these commandments on golden dinner plates (pasta is eaten on such plates, so it makes sense that His commandments were written on such stoneware), and gave them to pirates. Pirates in our eyes were the first Pastafarians, who were wrongly portrayed through history as ruthless criminals when we think they were quite peaceful explorers. However, being pirates, two of the commandments were lost. It has been said that they were broken-possibly in a vicious battle against a Christian-filled navy. It has also been said that the plates were melted into gold coins and were lost when the queen executed pirates ruthlessly-that they were even in a ship that sank in a blaze of fiery pirate glory. Since there are so many tales, it is hard to know what to believe, but the two plates are gone nonetheless. After all, they were pirates that were trusted with the plates.
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